The Overwhelming Aggravation of Shopping With ADHD

For some people with ADHD, the main issue they face with fashion is buying things on a whim. “I’m such an impulsive shopper,” says Casey McQuiston, author of the 2019 novel Red, White, and Royal Blue. “I really have to be careful about it sometimes, because I tend to see something I like and hyper-fixate on it.... It’s sort of like when you get a craving for a food and you’re like, ‘I’m not going to be able to calm down or be relaxed until I satisfy that craving.’”

According to Hayes, that sort of hyper-focus is reflected in the brain. “It’s like the bit that’s responsible for getting your attention onto a task and switching your attention onto the next task is slow to start working, but once it starts working, it’s hard to get it to stop,” she says. Also, people with ADHD are less sensitive to dopamine (the neurotransmitter that helps us feel pleasure), so some tend to do things that might be risky or excessive—say, buying a pricey item they can’t stop thinking about—in order to boost its production. “If we’re hyper-focused on something, we get more dopamine, and it predicts we’re going to get a massive payoff,” says Hayes.

Many people with ADHD create systems to keep their spending in check when their impulsivity gets out of hand or their minds feel one-track. McQuiston, for instance, allows herself the occasional cheap impulse buy but waits six months before purchasing big items. “And that’s how I have no tattoos I regret,” she says with a laugh.

Here, McQuiston and other women with ADHD share more shopping and dressing tips for those who have the condition.

Work with your brain, not against it.

“If you’re trying to force yourself to work in neurotypical ways, it’s not going to work for you,” says McQuiston. “You’re going to get so mad at yourself every time you mess it up—which you’re inevitably going to do, because our brains just don’t work that way.”

For freelance writer Kathleen Walsh, that means cutting uncomfortable tags out of clothing and avoiding dangly jewelry, but also buying oversized items for the purpose of keeping herself focused at work. “I sit with an enormous sweater draped over my head in order to restrict my field of vision so I don't get distracted by surrounding activity,” she explains. “It’s weirdly effective and nobody cares if you look a little nuts.”

Learn what items are off-limits.

While you might be drawn to the same types of clothing as everyone else, it’s crucial to know what pieces are just not going to work for you. “I can't purchase ripped jeans because I will pick at them until it destroys the fabric, and I've lost more expensive pairs of sunglasses than I can count,” says Emma Metzler, a college junior who, in late 2019, started a Reddit thread, asking for fashion advice from people with ADHD or similar sensory issues that's gotten hundreds of responses. As a result, she tends to keep her outfits “simple and functional,” forgoing most accessories, distressed fabrics, and bright colors (“They make me feel jittery in the worst way possible”). “By sticking to things in more muted or basic colors,” Metzler adds, “more things match—less decision making.”

Use your phone as an ally, but know when to put it down.

Many people with ADHD, says McQuiston, tend to be bad at record keeping and impulse control, “so I would advise people to download some [budgeting] apps and use your Google calendar as much as you can.” Apps like Mint and PocketGuard can help you keep track of your spending and save up for bigger purchases if you’re worried you can’t be trusted to put the money away yourself.