The DOs and DON'Ts of Drunk Sex

DON'T: Try Too Hard to Orgasm

Booze affects your ability to orgasm. His too. Placing too much emphasis on the big finale will almost guarantee that the show goes on forever, or at least until both of you collapse into a pile of aching muscles, dehydration and chaffing. Just have fun; don't worry about the finale.

DO: Clean Up After

But do worry about the come a little. Taking three seconds to clean up, wash things off or jump in the shower will pay dividends in the morning.

DON'T: Worry About Him Judging You

When you're drunk, you're going to do things you wouldn't normally do, and say things you don't normally say. So is he. And it's fine. He's not going to think you are super freaky, nor is he going to think you're an emotional wreck. If things got wild, he's going to know that part of it was the sauce, and he's not going to expect the same behavior in the future or attach any kind of permanence to those attitudes or actions. If you had a good time, stop stressing.

DO: Brush Your Teeth When You Wake Up

If you don't want to use his toothbrush (for the love of god, please let him own a toothbrush), do that thing where you put toothpaste on your finger and swirl it around until you feel minty fresh. If he's a gentleman, he'll do the same. I can't tell you how nice it is to kiss someone the morning after a bit of a bender and taste peppermint instead of a 98 degree mix of beer, cigarettes and my own bodily fluids.

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