Speaking Your Mind? Always a Do

Jenny Johnson is famous on Twitter for being funny, filthy—and for taking on Chris Brown. Her biggest fan? A Texas oil exec…who's also her husband. Her valentine to him is here.

A bold, audacious Do: Johnson at Rebels Honky Tonk bar in

Houston

One time my husband asked that I remove a tweet. It read: "I KNOW my husband has been using my bronzing moisturizer to jerk off. His d^#k looks like Snooki." I didn't take it down; I thought it was hilarious, as did my 300,000-plus Twitter followers. And no, it wasn't true; it was just a silly thing to write. And I'm a silly person.

When I first started writing jokes on Twitter, in 2009, I was shocked at the response—turns out people like my twisted sense of humor. My Twitter bio reads, "writer, wife, asshole, and owner of 2 dogs." All are true, except maybe the asshole part. (I actually think I'm a nice person; I just added it to make me sound like a badass, which it totally does.) But the question people ask me most is how my brash online personality affects my husband, who works in the conservative oil and gas industry.

The best way to explain how we make it work is to share a list of things he's said to me recently:

• "You look gorgeous tonight, Jenny. Um…please don't say f—k' at the table during dinner." (For his job, we're required to attend numerous galas, dinners, conferences, and balls. Ha, balls…)

• "Jenny, please don't write that when I fall asleep naked you put my penis in a hot dog bun." (Sadly, I've never actually done this to him, but I'm fairly confident it will happen sooner or later.)

• "You are by far the most disgusting person I know. I love you. Good night."