Orange Is the New Black, Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Morello's Wedding

Morello, still wearing the veil, continues to walk around the house. She goes into the bathroom and takes a bath, and we go to another flashback. Morello is in court and Christopher is on the stand. He says they went on one date and that was it, but she started stalking him. He said he moved twice, changed his phone number, and she still wouldn't leave him alone. She even planted a homemade bomb on his then-girlfriend's car. DAMN! All this time, I thought he played her like a game of tic-tac-toe, but it turns out she's mentally missing a few screws.

Back in the present, Morello has fallen asleep in the tub and wakes up when Christopher comes home. She jumps out a window, gets in the prison van, and drives off. Morello makes it back to the hospital just in time. Whew!

Red visits Caputo and says they should have a gardening program for the older ladies. He's intrigued, so he tells her to bring him a budget and he'll present it to Figueroa.

Meanwhile, Pipes and Boo begin Phase One: Occupy Soso. Pipes tells Soso that prison will be tough for her since she's pretty, so she needs to find a prison wife. She says just one night with a prisoner will have her set for the rest of the time she's at Litch. Boo then walks over, but Soso quickly realizes what's going on and is mad that Pipes tried to pimp her out for a blanket. She leaves and goes to her bunk, and Nicky comes over. They hook up, and of course, Soso talks nonstop during sexy times, so Nicky buries Soso's head into her crotch.

Red goes back to the greenhouse and sees the manhole cover. She smiles. Inside the prison, Vee visits Taystee. Remember the dump I predicted that Vee would take all over Taystee's and Poussey's tender moment? Well, it's so big that even a pack of Pampers can't contain it. Vee tells her that being faux gay just because she's lonely is for punks. Taystee says she's not gay, and Vee says don't let Poussey drag you into "that sh**" and that Poussey is not her real friend, only her friend in prison, and Taystee doesn't want people on the streets to hear about what Taystee's up to in prison with Poussey. Shut up, Vee.

Polly and Larry are watching TV while the baby sleeps. He says he loved playing house with Polly and is worried if he will ever have that. She says he will and that she couldn't have gotten through this tough time without him. She kisses him on the cheek and rests her head on his shoulder.

Sophia is teaching the inmates about the female anatomy with a diagram she drew. Funniest moment when one of COs watches and his mind is blown.

Later on, it's movie night. Nicky is rubbing it in Boo's head that she's with Soso, so Boo rubs her crotch on the blanket and offers it to Pipes. Taystee makes a commotion because the Latina crew is sitting on pillows and making it hard for everyone else to see. Poussey comes in late, but Taystee didn't save her a seat. Poussey leaves and sits in the back. Morello is crying and tells Yoga Jones that she's not going to wear a veil for her wedding with Christopher because it's too traditional:

In case you missed it, click here for the recap of the season two, episode two, and here for the season two, episode three recap.

What did you think of this episode? Anyone else shocked at how mentally deranged Morello is?