"I Almost Had an Orgasm From Laser Hair Removal"

She started with my underarms. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt at all. The laser was a little warm, but she rubbed a cooling gel over my armpits that made the experience more pleasant. And she used a firm pressure in circular motions to get every angle and stray hair. It was weird, certainly. But not painful. I did notice the machine seemed like it was acting up a bit. It'd rev up for 10 seconds and then stop, so she'd have to kick it for it to start again, or go to the wall and unplug it and plug it back in. Nothing seemed wildly out of the ordinary. Machinery acts up, right?

Then, she moved down to my bikini area, and that’s where things started getting really weird, really fast. That refreshing cooling gel? It suddenly felt...lubey. And the constant pressure in a very constant circular motion, combined with the warm laser—I'm sure you know where I'm going with this.

At first, I laughed it off. Like, OK, this is strange. But the feeling kept escalating, and I just thought, "Oh, this is interesting." Then, without any warning, the technician grabbed my leg and threw it over her shoulder, so I was jack-knifing her. And she just kept going at it—I mean, going at it—leaving no part of my anatomy untouched.

I tried to power through it. I focused on my breathing and thought about how it'd all be over soon. But this was a 40-minute session, and my underarms had only taken a few minutes, so you can imagine how much more time she had to spend down there. My mind started to race. Do I say anything? I thought. And then, Can she tell I'm getting hot and heavy?