How to Turn a Casual Hookup Into a Relationship

__Hi, all! One of our readers has fallen for the guy she was having casual sex with this summer. Now she'd like for their hookup to grow into a relationship. Let's discuss. __

Can you turn a hookup into something more?

She writes:

"What happens when you agree to what was intended to be a casual hookup and nothing serious...and you end up falling for him? What does date night then become? How do you make a casual hookup into something better?"

This is tricky (and I'll explain why), but turning a hookup into a relationship is possible. I mean how often do we make plans that don't turn out how we imagined? For example, I thought I would be a lawyer, but I hate arguing and feel bad when someone else loses—a whole other issue. My point is that life doesn't always pan out the way we intended, and that's OK!

So, you went into it thinking you'd be fine with "just sex" and now you feel a different way? That's totally human. What makes this a sticky situation is that he may not feel the same—because of this, you likely fear his rejection. This is also totally normal and nothing to feel weird about.

Now, how to go about this conversation without feeling as exposed and vulnerable as when you dream you show up to work without pants? Here are a few tips:

__Be true to yourself.__Forget about him for a second and make sure you know what your needs are (and what it takes to meet them). Say, for instance, that you know that continuing to hook up with your guy without a commitment will make you anxious. You don't deserve to feel anxious, right? If this guy can't give you a relationship that makes you feel happy and secure, then you're better off not continuing things. Right?