Dirty Talk 101: How Guys Really Want You to Talk About Sex

I'm the boss in the bedroom. But that doesnt mean I don't know how to take orders. I like getting told. *Do this. Do that. *Hopefully, I'm there intuitively and you never have to ask, but in the real world, I appreciate a well-directed imperative. Suggestions work too. It's all part of communication being a necessary and sexy part of sex. But where to start? How about with what we call sex in the first place? I asked my friends to reveal their favorite nomenclature:

"I tend to adapt. What for one relationship might be Come here and f*ck me' is 'Baby, I love you' to another. There's no one way that turns me on. Well, Melissa [his ex] used to whisper 'I've been naughty' in my ear when we were out in public. When she said that it wouldn't take long before we'd leave wherever we were. And those times were usually pretty good because there'd be no chit-chat once we got home. The door closed and that was it."

—Jacques, graphic designer, 28

"I say show, don't tell. It's like good writing and acting. There's a look I'll give, or a certain way I'll kiss when we wake up in the morning. That means it's go time."

—Terrence, 25, bartender/guitarist

"Sex? I just ask if she wants to have sex. I mean, not all the time, sometimes it just happens if the girl is really up on me or I can tell she's being frisky. But usually I'll just put it out there: feel like having sex?"

—Jonathan, 30, advertising exec

"Everyone says hook up' in college, which I think sounds incredibly dumb. 'We hooked up.' I was hooking up with this girl.' It just sounds so college. In person, a girl will ask if I want to come back to her room. Sleepover' tends to mean sex as well. Like, if you're making out and you ask her if she wants to stay over, you're basically asking if she wants to have sex."