Ask a Guy: "My Guy Friend Jokingly Said 'I Love You'—Is He Being Flirty or Friendly?"

There are some questions about men that only a guy can answer. We asked the dudes at guyspeak.com (read more about them here), for their take on this dating conundrum:

Q: A guy friend recently said, "This is why I love you" after I had made some joke. He used to have some unsaid interest in dating me, but I've been trying to move us into the friend territory by mentioning my boyfriend every so often. I never met any guy who throws the love word around. Is he being flirty or friendly?

Does it matter? He's a friend. A flirty friend. You're in love with your boyfriend. So there's no problem here. The only potential problem is if you're attracted to this guy, and have poor impulse control.

Let's talk for a second about flirting. Flirting is harmless. It's playful human interaction that's intended to spur superficial attraction. Flirting never hurt nobody. Making out with someone who was flirting with you when you have a boyfriend... now that's hurt plenty of people.

I have plenty of female friends who I love. As friends. Sometimes when we throw the "L" word around like it's not worth anything, it's usually because it's not worth anything. I'm sure your joke was hi-larious. But his off-the-cuff "I love you" was probably not a sincere declaration.

But then again, maybe he does carry a torch for you. Maybe he's nuts about you. I know in the past, I've been so in love with a woman, I really couldn't care less if she was dating anyone. That was my problem of course. My moral conundrum. My love has burned so intensely that I didn't care what the inferno consumed.

If this is the case, then I would abandon any delicate diplomacy. I wouldn't try to "move" him into the "friend territory." He's already in the friend territory. He's trying to bust out of the friend territory. I'm speaking, of course, if he was actually trying to pursue you. I'm gambling that he isn't. But if he is, then, yeah, he wants out of the so-called friend zone.